Henry Payne

“I want something that doesn’t break down,” said the lady in the red sweater when I asked her what she coveted on the Detroit Auto Show floor.

“Oh,” I replied, rather expecting the answer to be the drop-dead gorgeous, Holy-Mother-of-Pearl Ford GT supercar that had been a one-car mob scene since the doors opened to the public.

“My husband’s Toyota Camry has 293,000 thousand miles on it and has never had a problem,” she continued indignantly. So who’s counting? She is. “My Chrysler minivan has 150,000 and it’s in the shop. Again.”

Another Camry customer is born.

Red’s answer is proof that auto shows aren’t just fashion runways. They are also giant showrooms for folks who are in the market. They come to ogle the supermodels. The latest designer trends. Flying buttresses on the GT! Twelve LED headlights in the NSX! But then visitors will track down the cars that fit their lifestyle. Compare them. Try them on.

This year Ford’s stand leads with strength. Literally. The place has so much muscle it practically reeked of testosterone. Ford’s supercar was the biggest bodybuilder in a gym full of big biceps showing off the Dearborn automaker’s new performance division. Mustang GT350 R. F-150 SVT Raptor. Like Hulk Hogan at a pro wrestling autograph signing, the athletes were mobbed by adoring groupies.

Ford can do performance in its sleep. The history of the Ford GT alone will bring competitors to their knees. Winner of LeMans in 1966. And then in 1967, 1968, and 1969. Fifty years later, a new, 600 plus-horsepower GT that sounds like Godzilla gargling razor blades has its sights set on further French conquests.

At the Toyota stand, the Japanese automaker also wants to flex its new muscles. The Lexus RC F GT3 racing concept is the luxury brand’s first venture into serious GT racing. But its oiled pecs were largely ignored by showgoers. The FS-1, a delicious sports car on a Lazy Susan, got more respect. But performance cred is earned. Let us know when you win LeMans, boys.

But front and center in the Toyota display was a bank of Camrys. They welcomed visitors like . . . like what?

A beautiful hostess at a downtown restaurant? Naw. Despite the midsize sedan’s much-ballyhooed facelift this year, it’s hardly a head-turner.

A geriatric greeter at Wal-Mart? Nope. The Camry may be plain on the outside, but its hybrid technology is cutting edge.

A row of shiny TVs at Costco? Bingo.

The Camry is a pleasant, colorful, affordable appliance. That never breaks down.

Camry can do reliability in its sleep. It sets the tone for a smart brand that attracts people who need transportation. Like Red. Let the motorheads (guilty as charged) daydream about Ford GTs. Most folks want something that gets them from A to B without detours to the shop. Americans are a friendly tribe, but we don’t want to know our mechanic on a first name basis.

For all of its performance cred, Ford covets Toyota’s reliability rep. The Blue Oval’s jaw-dropping performance and styling (Ford’s Aston – er, Fusion – is George Clooney next to the Camry’s Steve Carell) draw customers to showrooms. But reliability is what keeps them coming back. Ford boasts slinky supercars that can fly at 200 mph for 24 hours, but Toyota excels at vanilla sedans you can flog 200,000 miles for 24 years.

On a flight back from Denver last year, a rental fleet manager told me a consistent complaint of customers is Ford’s original Sync infotainment system. Its moods drove them batty. Ford fixed the problems with Sync 2.0. But it has to earn customers back that it lost to Toyota.

During auto show media week I was driving a new, $33k, 2015 Camry. Like my kitchen toaster, it did its job with relentless normalcy.

Its console was the right balance of touchscreen and dials. Its hi-tech safety features watched over me like an angel. Its roomy seats fit all sizes. Its four-banger engine ran like a top. And its Lassie-like reliability makes you forgive its shortcomings. The low-mounted seat heater dials you have to blindly fiddle with to get right. The cruise control stalk that hides behind the steering wheel begging to be confused with the turn signal. The hard chrome console bezel that chews at my leg.

Someday, Toyota will blitz LeMans and Ford will rule Consumer Reports. Until then, we’ll drive our sexless Camrys to the auto show to ogle Ford GT beefcake.

Henry Payne is auto critic for The Detroit News. Find him at hpayne@detroitnews.com or Twitter @HenryEPayne.

2017 Ford GT

Vehicle type: Mid-engine, rear-wheel drive, two-passenger sports car

Price: $150,000 est.

Power plant: 3.5-liter, twin-turbo V-6

Power: 600-plus horsepower, 500-plus pound-feet of torque

Transmission: seven-speed, dual-clutch automatic

Performance: 0-60 mph, sub-3 seconds (no doubt)

Weight: TBA (expect a lightweight with carbon-fiber tub)

Fuel economy: TBA (and honestly, does it matter?)

Report card

Highs: Porn for autobuffs; Classic GT40 styling for the 21st c.

Lows: Might get you thrown jail

Overall:★★★★

2015 Toyota Camry

Vehicle type: Front-engine, front-wheel drive, five-passenger sports car

Price: $23,795 base ($33,448 as tested)

Power plant: 2.5-liter DOHC 4-cylinder

Power: 178 horsepower, 170 pound-feet of torque

Transmission: Six-speed automatic

Performance: 0-60 mph, 7.9 seconds (Car & Driver)

Weight: 3,240 pounds

Fuel economy: EPA 25 city/35 highway/28 combined

Report card

Highs: Bone reliable; Confy interior proportions

Lows: Styling a cure for insomnia; Center console can chaffe long legs

Overall:★★★

The Z06 makes 350 pounds of down force. Paired with an all-new aluminum chassis and 12-inch Michelin gummies, the Z06 is a big, tail-wagging, mountain of power. But with stick.

On the limit of grip — the 6.2-liter, supercharged V-8 howling like Cerberus in my ears — I modulate the Corvette ZO6′s throttle across the uphill, Turn 2 sweeper at Spring Mountain. But the hungry beast wants more. More throttle?

Payne, it seems to say, don’t you know I am the most capable production car in existence? That your pals at Car & Driver have recorded my 1.19 lateral G-forces higher than a Porsche 918 hybrid? Higher than a Nissan GTR?

I oblige with every passing lap. Which means that at 6,400 RPM I snatch fourth gear — 122 mph — at the top of the hill going into Turn 3, a 180-degree

downhill right-hander. BRAAAAKES! I stomp on the binders at the way-too-late marker and giant Brembo calipers seize 15.5-inch carbon-ceramic front rotors with the force of a Rottweiler on a postman’s leg. The coupe slows like it hit an invisible wall. My chest strains against the seat belt. My eyeballs bulge from their sockets. But the Z wants more. Brake later? Are you mad?

Fool, don’t you know that I can brake with any exotic car on the planet? A heart-stopping 128 feet from 70-0 mph? Better than a Porsche Turbo? Or a Ferrari 458?

And so it goes lap after lap trying to find the limits of this extraordinary, $78,000-plus super car. Exhilarating. Addicting. But how is this possible?

After all, we’re comparing the Corvette to the most technologically advanced weapons on the planet. Cars with carbon-fiber tubs. All-wheel-drive. Overhead-cam, turbocharged, made-with-Unobtanium, flux-capaciter cyborgs sent here by Skynet from 25 years into the future.

I mean, the Z06 still has its engine in the front like a truck, for goodness sake. And it uses antique push rods. And leaf springs (yeah, I know, Chevy calls ‘em “tranverse-mounted, composite springs” but every motorhead knows they’re leafs). The thing should be retired to the Smithsonian.

Well, hold the retirement party. The 2015 Corvette Z06 is the real deal.

Credit an engineering team lead by Tadge Juechter who has Pratt & Miller’s Doug Louth, chief engineer of Corvette’s racing program, on speed dial. The seventh-generation, $53,995 base Corvette C7 Stingray was conceived with the Z06 performance package and LeMans racing in mind. Would Juechter & Co. have use

more exotic suspension geometries and engine tweaks if it had twice the budget? Who knows? Who cares?

Squeezing every ounce of nutrition out of a front-engine, push-rod, transverse spring recipe it has perfected over three generations of car, Juechter’s geniuses then cooked their big sirloin steak with the best spices from Brembo and Michelin tires. The result? An affordable, freakishly-capable megabot with the performance of cars costing five times as much.

Consider: The Z06 lapped the epic, 4.1-mile Virginia International this year in 2.41.3 seconds. That’s quicker than the record 2.43.1 lap laid down by a $875,000 Porsche 918 at Car & Driver’s legendary Lightening Lap competition last year.

But the Z06 is more than quick. It’s comfortably quick. I was skeptical that this was possible. After all, I’ve driven Vette-zilla.

Vette-zilla was the 2007 ZR1, the last generation, C6-based Z06 on ‘roids. The most capable Corvette ever produced. With a 6.2-liter, supercharged V-8, 638 horsepower and all the tricks from the Brembo and Michelin magicians’ hats, the $110,000 ZR1 could run with the exotics. But it would wear you out in the process.

Like riding a bull through Pamplona, Vette-zilla roared and stomped and threatened to throw you through the window. It sweated 20 pounds out of you — but sweet speed was your reward. The ’15 Z06 tames Vette-zilla’s moods. Smooths its raw edges. And goes quicker. Nearly five seconds a lap quicker in GM’s VIR test.

On Spring Mountain Raceway I feel it instantly. The Z06 not only doesn’t generate as much lift as the squirrely ZR1, it makes 350 pounds of down force. Paired with an all-new aluminum chassis and 12-inch Michelin gummies, the Z06 is still a big, tail-wagging, mountain of power. But with stick.

“The difference from the ZR1 is that when you turn it in to a corner, it plants,” says ex-IndyCar driver Richie Hearn, who flogs Vettes at Spring Mountain’s Ron Fellows Driver’s School for a living,

That nimbleness has turned the old Detroit vs. Europe formula on it head.

“Detroit once made the drag queens,” says Juechter. “Europe the cornering kings.” Now, with hybrid-torque and all-wheel drive, Euro-sports like the 887-horsepower Porsche 918 stomp the big ‘Vette from 0-60. But without the weight of batteries and electric motors, the Z06 is lighter — easier to toss across apexes.

But don’t be fooled into thinking the ‘Vette is a tinny lightweight. At 3,524 pounds it is actually heavier than the last generation Z06 and ZR1. Wider and longer, the new car is stuffed with luxurious interior materials, media infotainment, four airbags, and a video Performance Data Recorder to play back the fun bits. They’ll be plenty.

With its race-breeding, you buy the Z06 over the base Stingray for weekends at the track (“You’re going to Waterford Raceway again this Saturday, hon?”). But the other days of the week, the Z06 is a luxury chariot. Unlike the single-minded, Z06/ZR1 hammers of yore, new Z06 owners (they went on sale in November, get in line) can have their cake and eat it too.

The Z06 is available in an automatic and a convertible with no compromise in performance. The convertible gains no weight over the coupe. The automatic loses no speed. Indeed, relates Juechter, when pro-drivers tested the Z06 at Road Atlanta last fall, they recorded faster times in the eight-speed automatic vs. the seven-speed manual.

“I got to admit it,” says Indy racer Hearn after cranking off a lap that had me gripping the door handles, “I prefer the automatic to the paddles.”

GM product guru Mark Reuss nicknamed the Z06 “Big Nasty” for its fearsome capabilities, but the bandwidth of this beast is astonishing.

Cruise to church with your best gal in its sumptuous, leather seats and dual climate control on Sunday morning. Wake cemeteries with 3,000-RPM thunderclaps through lake country on Sunday afternoon. Supercars are supposed to come with super sticker prices. My Torch Red (or is it ticket-me-red?) Z06 with Z07 performance package and competition seats still goes out the door for less than six-figures. Less is more with the Z06.

OK, Payne, enough talk. I’m getting cold. Let’s hit the track and find a coupla more seconds.

Glad to serve, Big Nasty.

2015 Corvette Z06

Vehicle type: Front-engine, rear-wheel drive, two-passenger sports car

Price: $78,995 base ($97,595 as tested)

Power plant: 6.2-liter, supercharged V-8

Power: 650 horsepower, 650 pound-feet of torque

Transmission: seven-speed manual or eight-speed automatic

Performance: 0-60 mph, 2.9 seconds (manufacturer)

Weight: 3,524 pounds

Fuel economy: EPA 15 mpg city/22 mpg highway (manual); 13 mpg city/23 mpg highway (auto)

Report card

Highs: Ferocious low-end power; Gotta-have-it good looks

Lows: Multi-gate, seven-speed manual gearbox takes some adjustment; fuzz magnet

Overall:★★★★

You don’t have to walk far into Cobo Center to find my Car of the Show. The gorgeous, blood red, plug-in, battery-powered, twin-turbo, jewel-eyed, platinum-priced, fuel-efficient, high-performance, low drag, shrieking supercar Acura NSX.

The long-awaited NSX is a one-car smorgasbord of every hot feature on the floor — with the exception of a pickup bed. And like nearly every reveal at this year’s show it will only appeal to a few.

During media week, the NSX was a celebrity magnet. Comedian Jerry Seinfeld (reportedly he and fellow funnyman/car fanatic Jay Leno have dibs on the first two copies), rapper Ludacris, and every auto executive in town came by to ogle the $150K-plus exotic beauty. They are also the rare few who can afford it.

The 2015 Detroit Auto Show is a showman’s show boasting 50 eye-catching reveals. But it’s a dramatic departure from 2014′s circus that showcased major volume segment reveals like the Ford F-150, Chrysler 200, and Honda Fit. Key luxury debuts abounded, including the Lincoln MKC, Hyundai Genesis, and Acura TLX.

Last year, Cobo was big box retail. This year it’s an oversized boutique. With the U.S. market back to glorious, pre-recession, 17-million-in-sales-a-year growth, manufacturers are slicing and dicing the market with specialty models. That means performance models. Off-road models. Hybrid models. Anything to keep showrooms packed as automakers try to tease that last dollar out of your wallet.

This fracturing of the field means that fights are popping up all over the floor like sword duels in a “Hobbit” battle scene. Over here are Tesla and Chevy battling it out for the first 200-mile electric car. Over yonder a skirmish for best small pickup. Me? I’m a sucker for affordable sports cars. Here are the highlights:

Henry Payne’s take on 2015 NAIAS sports cars

Henry Payne’s take on 2015 NAIAS small, midsize and green cars

Henry Payne’s take on 2015 NAIAS luxury cars

Henry Payne’s take on 2015 NAIAS SUVs

Henry Payne’s take on 2015 NAIAS concepts

Henry Payne’s take on 2015 NAIAS trucks

Raptor vs. Rebel

In this corner of Cobo, the earth-pawing Ford Raptor. And in that corner the boffo, red-on-black Ram Rebel. Sounds like a WWE bout, huh? The names are intentionally intimidating. These are trucks with attitude. But the bout is a mismatch. The F-150′s evil twin, Raptor is an off-road assault vehicle suitable to run the legendary Baja 1000. With a seriously upgraded chassis and suspension, this monster might eat the trees that Ford has placed around the pickup’s exhibit. In contrast, the Rebel is an aggressive trim upgrade. Blacked-out grille, dual exhaust, and huge, knobby tires give it menace. But inside, this tough truck is a softie. Red-stitched vinyl interior, 8.4-inch UConnect console screen, and a clever media holder for your phone/tablet.

The Raptor/Rebel bruise brothers are evidence that there are the Big Three truck makers — and everyone else. Over in the Nissan stand, an all-new, full-sized Titan is everything you want in a truck. But the F-150′s Raptor variant alone sold more copies than Titan last year.

The 200-milers

Tesla’s Elon Musk has thrown down the gauntlet on making an affordable, $30K electric car. General Motors just picked it up. Expensive electrics like the Tesla Model S and Cadillac ELR are tech wonders, but rare. The Big Game in battery power has always been the challenge of building an affordable EV. The Ford Model T revolutionized motoring because once millions of Americans could afford cars, gas infrastructure followed. So will recharging infrastructure follow the 30-grand EV? If anyone can make the car.

Musk claims his promised, 200-mile-range, Model E (Model E like Model T, get it?) will be the silver bullet. Chevy’s 200-miler Bolt concept may beat him to it. The Bolt — smartly executed as a trendy, small crossover — stepped all over the Chevy Volt 2.0′s introduction this year. Don’t pity the Volt. The redesign has all the sex appeal of a loaf of bread. Or a Corolla.

Hybrid supercars

The aforementioned NSX is the latest entry in a new class: The plug-in hybrid electric supercar. The $900,000 Porsche 918 launched the trend with neck-snapping, 2.2-second, 0-60 time. But $1 million cars belong in museums, not on roads. The $138K BMW i8 — so beautiful it even shames other Bimmers on the stand — brought that price into more conventional, Porsche 911 Turbo-like orbit. The NSX follows. Electric motors benefit supercars in two ways. They add instant acceleration to lightweight chassis. And they turn the front wheels, transforming mid-engine, rear-wheel-drive athletes into AWD cruise missiles that can turn on a dime. Or (ahem) even negotiate a Detroit snow storm.

While we’re drooling over supercars, note the show-stopping Ford GT is not a plug-in. It’s a conventional, twin-turbo V6. Which means it’s headed for LeMans GT racing to slay Ferrari. High five.

Dashboard revolution

Thanks to digital technology, I get blind-spot alerts, automatic braking before I punt the car in front of me. . . I can even drive hands-free with lane-keep assist (which freaks out Mrs. Payne). But the digital revolution is also transforming the center console. Tesla’s “floating iPad” console is as cool as its 200-mile range. Over at the Lincoln stand, the all-new MKX eliminates the cumbersome gearshift stalk with a push-button tranny next to an infotainment screen angled helpfully toward the driver. Ditto the Chrysler 200.

And now for something completely different: The new Audi TT fuses console and instrument screens into one display for better heads-up driving. Thank a super-smart nvidia (Intel is sooo 15 minutes ago) chip — the same brain that runs your kids’ awesome video games.

Megatrend

For all the micro-segments on Cobo’s floor, there is one over-arching megatrend: SUVs are taking over the world. Like the 19th-century stagecoach, we homo sapiens like riding high in our 21st-century vehicles. Some cars go to extraordinary lengths to be SUVs. Check out the Volvo S60 Cross Country, which takes its flowing, coupe-like sedan shell and jacks it 2.5-inches in the air to be labeled a crossover. Or the Mercedes GLE63. Looks kinda like a Subaru Outback (who knew Subie was a fashion leader?).

But maybe the most haunting proof that everything will ultimately turn into a crossover is the Hyundai Santa Cruz concept. It’s a pickup. The height of a compact SUV. With car-like, unibody construction.

Wild. Put a 550-horsepower plug-in-hybrid drivetrain in it and I bet Leno will snap it up in a minute. Enjoy the show.

Henry Payne is auto critic for The Detroit News. Find him at hpayne@detroitnews.com or Twitter @HenryEPayne.

Five must-sees

Dodge simulator: The Detroit show’s first full-car simulator. Take the family for a wild ride in a Charger Hemi.

Acura NSX: You’ll be hypnotized by this supercar’s 12 jewel-eye headlights. If its 550 plug-in electric horsepower doesn’t already have you a trance.

Mini Superleggera. What you get when you cross a British boy toy with an Italian supercar designer.

Ford F-150 SVT Raptor. Looks like a mechanized Jurassic Park reptile. Just don’t put your hands inside the cage.

Alfa Romeo 4C Spider. Turbocharged, sports-car fun. In a drop-top. With the most gorgeous models in the show.

It’s cold. Really cold. But instead of taking refuge in a dark theater to watch an Oscar nominee, Cobo Hall offers something better: A dazzling, mega-watt, toy wonderland called the North American International Auto Show. Inside are spectacular sets, beautiful models in black dresses, and 750 of the world’s shiniest, best rides. Fifty-five of them are all new machines pushing the limits of horsepower, molded sheet metal, and digital doo-hickeys. These beauties aren’t just transportation, they are art on wheels.

Hollywood has its Top Eight Best Movies. Here are my Top Ten best new vehicles.

1. Acura NSX

The second coming of Acura’s supercar has been foretold since a 2012 concept. Could it live up the hype? Could it live up to the legacy of the Ayton Senna-endorsed original? This raked, jewel-eyed weapon got speeding tickets just standing still on its Cobo stand. Every detail is sharp, purposeful. Hood vents speed air from the front openings, sucking the car to the ground. The NSX joins the nearby BMW i8 as a new kind of supercar that can slink silently through town on electric power, then assault the countryside when the electric-assist-twin-turbo-V6 motor kicks in.

2. Alfa Romeo 4C Spider

If the NSX has a flaw, its design looks clinical. Cold. Not the Alfa. There’s something about Italian design that exudes sensuality. Warmth. (Or maybe it’s just the drop-dead gorgeous models on the Alfa stand.) Thanks to the stiff, carbon-fiber tub, the $60k, drop top Spider is just 22 pounds heavier than its coupe cousin. Store the soft top in the 4C’s lunch-sized boot. Opt for the removable hard top and store it in the passenger seat (which means the model can’t come with you, alas).

3. Chevy Bolt

Tesla’s swaggering CEO, Elon Musk, showed up in Detroit during media preview week without his Model 3, the long-promised, $35K, 200-mile range electric car. A pity, because Chevy beat him to it. What’s more, the crossover Bolt (lousy name, why didn’t they call it the Gamechanger?) scored a two-fer. It also eclipses its sister Chevy Volt which debuts its second-gen nearby.

4. Toyota Tacoma

The Empire strikes back. Last year Chevy stormed the Detroit Auto Show with Colorado and Canyon pickups in an attempt to take back the small(er) pickup segment. This year, reigning class king Tacoma answers. It’s remade for the first time since 2006 with a new skin, new 3.5-liter V-6, and updated electronics. Smaller than the GM twins — Toyota bets its customers want a truck that fits in a parking space.

5. Ford GT

The more things change, they more they stay the same. While BMW and Acura showcase new hybrid supercars, the Ford GT is a conventional throwback. To celebrate the 50th anniversary of Henry the Deuce’s LeMans win over Enzo Ferrari, the GT signals a 2016 LeMans GTE-class entry — complete with fire-breathing, class-legal V-6 twin-turbo. The exterior is a thoroughly modern re-imagination of the legendary GT-40. Ford has built plenty of green hybrids. This monster has its sights on red Italian sports cars.

6. Ford F-150 SVT Raptor

The six-figure GT is for extreme, on-road driving. The $45K Raptor is for extreme off-roading. Named after the lithe, lizard-skinned, big-clawed dinosaurs of Jurassic Park, the desert-mocking, earth-pawing, shrubbery-chewing F-150 version is twice as big and twice as mean. With upgraded chassis and suspension, the Raptor does share one thing with the GT: A howling, twin-turbo V-6.

7. Mini Superleggera

What’s with the sports car in the Mini shoebox store? The Superleggera is the love-child of England’s Mini Cooper and Italy’s Touring Superleggera coach-maker. Powered by an electric motor, the two-seater concept features such design flourishes as a Jaguar D-Type-style fin and Union Jacks embedded in the tail-lights.

8. Mercedes-Benz F015 autonomous vehicle

The luxury answer to Google’s self-driving toaster. With rotating chairs wrapped in Nappa leather, the walnut-trimmed F015 is a rolling lounge. If the regulators someday OK autonomous vehicles, this is how the beautiful people will arrive at the Charity Preview.

9. Mazda CX-3

Big and bold dominated this year’s reveals, masking a fundamental shift in the industry: SUVs are challenging sedans in every segment. The CX-3 — along with the Honda HR-V and Chevy Trax — is the first of wave of sub-compact utes. The pretty CX-3 boasts Mazda’s trademark stylish design and sporty handling.

10. Cadillac ATS-V and CTS-V

The V twins take on the formidable performance divisions of BMW M and Merc AMG. The graceful CTS-V shares the Corvette Z06′s earth-shaking, supercharged, 6.2-liter power plant. Top speed? 200 mph. But the nimble ATS coupe will be Caddy’s rep on the race track.

I have never penned a cartoon mocking the Prophet Mohammed. Never mocked Jesus Christ. Or the Pope. It’s not my style of satire. It’s not the content that mainstream newspaper readers of The Detroit News expect.

But I have caricatured Christ multiple times. In good humor. For example, with a donkey lampooning the silly “What would Jesus drive?” protests against SUVs during the 2003 auto show.

It’s hard to believe drawing a religious figure’s likeness would lead to execution. Yet that is the fate that befell four of my cartoon peers in Paris last week at the hands of radical Islamists.

It doesn’t comfort me that their cartoons appeared in an edgy satirical magazine. It’s a thin line that separates different forms of expression — a line that terrorists don’t differentiate.

Their attack on Charlie Hebdo was an act of intimidation against anyone who doesn’t share their intolerant, doctrinaire world view. It’s an attack on all free people.

I’ve been buoyed by the strong, public reaction from Detroit-area Muslims and the 3 million people who bought Charlie Hedbo (traditionally an obscure, 30,000-circulation periodical) in its first publication since the Jan. 7 attack.

“Je suis Charlie,” the French chanted in the streets. I am Charlie.

In the first days after the attacks I was unsure if that sentiment would be shared.

“Satire, fairly or not, has always seemed less ‘serious’ than other forms of journalism, more of an indulgence,” wrote Fox News media reporter Howard Kurtz, echoing my own concerns that many would throw cartoonists under the bus. Kurtz rightly reasoned that “as the massacre at Charlie Hebdo reminds us, cartoonists, satirists and funnymen are often on the front lines of very risky battles.”

In the 25 years I have been in the cartoon business, Islamic attacks on controversial journalism have been a harbinger of worse violence to come.

In 1987, cartoonist Naji Salim Al-Ali fled Kuwait for England under death threats for his cartoons critical of Iran’s Ayatollah Khomeini. Gunmen killed him on a London street.

In 1989, Iran took out a fatwa on author Salman Rushdie for his fictional “Satanic Verses” novel, deemed a mocking of Mohammed by Iran’s ruling imams. Yet Iran’s fanaticism prefaced decades of state-sponsored terror groups like Hezbollah.

In 2005, a Danish paper published a dozen cartoons of Mohammed to reassert the power of free speech, concerned that the terror attacks of 9/11 had cowed freedom of expression.

Clearly, satire isn’t the problem, but rather a tool radical Islamists use to advance their agenda.

Islam is not the first religion perverted by extremists. Post-Civil War, the Ku Klux Klan claimed itself the enforcer of Protestant values as it burned crosses on the lawns of blacks, Jews and Catholics. The way to confront such perversions of peaceful religions is for mainstream holy figures to denounce the fringe. As Christian churches did to the Klan. And as leading Detroit Muslims are doing in the wake of the Paris attacks.

I was joined on Fox 2 News’ “Let It Rip,” a day after the slaughter, by fellow newspaperman Osama Siblani, publisher of Metro Detroit’s Arab-American News, and Imam Mohammad Ali Elahi of Dearborn Heights. Both fiercely denounced the Charlie attacks.

Said the imam, who last week dedicated a Friday service to condemning the attack: “Freedom of speech comes with responsibility, but disagreement does not come with destruction.”

That’s how you fight terror. With military intelligence and strikes, yes. But also by marginalizing the extremists in our midst.

Shame is a powerful tool. As is humor.

In a world of plain, boxlike, mid-sized SUVs, the Murano is a standout. A statement vehicle.

If Nissan can spare a copy of its stunning new Murano, it might consider a donation to the Josephine Ford Sculpture Garden behind the Detroit Institute of Arts. Passing patrons would surely find it more coherent than Calder’s “The X and its Tail.”

Contemplate the Murano’s finely sculptured grille, for example.

It has nothing to do with feeding air to the engine (accomplished by an opening along the SUV’s chin), and everything to do with aesthetics. The tulip-shaped, repeating chrome and plastic ribs are industrial art deco design at its finest and might be mistaken for a classic 1930s Cord were it not for the Nissan logo in the center.

Framed by two boomerang-shaped headlights, this startling fascia begins an art deco journey from stem to stern. Behold the “floating” greenhouse covering the passengers like an umbrella. Or those swollen, swept hips (akin to the 1938 Dubonnet Xenia perhaps?). Or the Murano’s jagged shoulder lines that echo California’s Sierra Nevada mountains — not far from where the ute was conceived by Nissan’s Los Angeles-based design team.

In a world of plain, boxlike, midsized SUVs like the Lexus RX350 or Jeep Grand Cherokee, the Murano (named for the island off Venice that produces world-famous glass creations) is a standout. A statement vehicle. It will get most of its show-room traffic on the flamboyant coasts of California, New York and Miami — but the vehicle it reminds me of most is the now-defunct Chrysler Pacifica.

Like the Murano, the chiseled, 2003 Pacifica was a refreshing crossover in a sea of ute boxes. Like Marilyn Monroe, alas, Pacifica was a troubled beauty. A cursed Chrysler child, it stumbled out of the nursery, was plagued by glitches, and suffered an early death. The Murano comes from more stable stock. Indeed, it too debuted as an ’03.

Now in its third generation, it has turned heads while providing solid performance. But the 2015 model is a whole new animal. It is the first production Nissan that features the brand’s layered, “V-motion” design language.

Did I say “features”? Make that “flaunts.” This is one racy automobile. It’s not for introverts. Gatsby would have killed for this car.

Its upscale pretensions don’t end at the ’30s-like curves on its exterior. The interior mirrors the outer shell with plunging dash lines enveloping the tulip-shaped center console. The piano-black console materials and stitched leather instrument shroud suggest more luxurious automakers like Cadillac and Mercedes. But where the controls of those vaunted brands can be as maddening to converse with as an eccentric billionaire, Murano proves the most sensible instruments this side of a Jeep.

Where is the menu for the center console? Always along the bottom of the screen. How do I reset the odometer? Button on the left dash.

The Murano’s feminine form can fool the eye into thinking this is a compact SUV. Inside, however, there is no doubt as to its midsize proportions. The center armrest could swallow an iPad. I am all elbows and knees, yet I had plenty of room in the front seats, my arms resting comfortably on the door rests — not the window sills.

The rear seats are cavernous (hey, Nissan, how about a Barcalounger-like, flip-up ottoman feature?). This ship could easily fit three rows — but unlike its Pacifica contemporary, the Murano’s upscale look is aimed at empty nesters and friends. The Pacifica was an extension of Chrysler’s minivan stable — a family vehicle with second

row captain’s chairs and a third-row bench.

I was introduced to this $30,445-plus figurine in Napa Valley. Wine country. I get it.

Invite another couple for a weekend escape. Park by a wine orchard and drink in the view. Pour them a glass of Chardonnay in the cup holders that drop between the rear seats (they recline like the fronts). Ahhhhh. This is your captain speaking: Relax and enjoy a quiet flight, and . …

What’s this? The Murano is all-wheel drive? And it’s built on the same sporty chassis as the Nissan Maxima? Hold on to those wine glasses folks.

In Napa they once mashed the grapes with their feet. Too bad they didn’t have an AWD Murano. Throw this baby in a wine vat, and it could churn grapes to wine in seconds.

I couldn’t find any wine-makers who would take me up on the offer, so I went off-roading on their muddy winery roads instead.

The AWD Murano comes nicely muscled with a standard 3.5-liter, 260-horsepower V-6 connected to the wheels by a … Continuously Variable Transmission? Say what? I fear the worst. CVTs may gain 20 percent fuel economy, but the plodding slush-boxes kill performance faster than general anesthesia. Thankfully, Nissan is aware of this — these are the same guys who make the wicked Nissan GTR, after all — and have engineered their CVT with “D-stop logic.” Translation: It’s still a CVT, but nicely masked by the upshifts of a proper automatic.

Thus equipped, Murano and I slipped and churned and waggled our way through a Napa winery after a California downpour. Now I know why Murano’s ugly-duckling cousin, the Subaru Outback, comes equipped with unsightly, black plastic, skirt cladding — it provides a protective coat against mud. By contrast, I felt bad dirtying my Arctic Blue Metallic Murano’s sumptuous side panels — crisply creased and highlighted with chrome. Sure, I would prefer a Nissan Titan on back roads compared to the Murano — but then I’ll take the crossover’s asphalt manners any day.

And since most metro folks spend 99.9 percent of their time on asphalt, the Murano gets the gold. That’s the beauty of this beauty — it’s as pretty as Erin Andrews and has her athletic skills to boot.

Not to say Murano is faultless. Art deco facade aside, its bulbous front hood is out of step with V-motion’s plunging curves. More like B-motion.

And be wary of the optional, albino interior. You don’t have to be a newspaper-stained wretch like me to imagine how quickly an all-white interior can get smudged. Fortunately, the black and tan interior trim is not only practical, but prettier than anything this side of a Merc.

I drove a fully-loaded, tech-stuffed, V-6 Murano for $43,745. That’s $10,000 less than a similarly-equipped Lexus RX350 that doesn’t have nearly the panache. Lexus has its own boomerang-like, show-me design on the way. And not a moment too soon.

Who said that SUVs aren’t art?

2015 Nissan Murano

Vehicle type: Front-engine, front-wheel or all-wheel drive, five-passenger sport utility vehicle

Price: $30,445 base ($43,745 as tested)

Power plant: 3.5-liter, dual overhead-cam V-6

Power: 260 horsepower, 240 pound-feet of torque

Transmission: Xtronic Continuously Variable Transmission

Performance: 0-60 mph, 7.1 seconds (Car & Driver)

Weight: 3,940-4,017 pounds

Fuel economy: EPA 21 mpg city/28 mpg highway/23 mpg combined

Report card

Highs: Art deco styling; lounge-like interior

Lows: Bulbous hood; dirt-magnet, albino interior option

Overall:★★★