Henry Payne Blog

Cartoon: Immigration Law Act

Posted by hpayne on November 21, 2014


Cartoon: GOP Statue Immigration

Posted by hpayne on November 21, 2014


Cartoon: Cosby Clinton Harass

Posted by hpayne on November 19, 2014


Cartoon: Keystone Cork

Posted by hpayne on November 19, 2014


Cartoon: All Football

Posted by hpayne on November 18, 2014


Cartoon: Fib Fibber Gruber

Posted by hpayne on November 18, 2014


Cartoon: I 8 A Porsche V8

Posted by hpayne on November 15, 2014

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Payne: VW GTI is a cheap thrill

Posted by hpayne on November 15, 2014

The 2015 GTI is wrapped in sheetmetal that is totally

After a week with the superstar, supercar BMW i8 (stay tuned for my review next Thursday), I am in withdrawal. Despondent. Needy. What can fill the void of a hybrid luxury sports car with 357 horsepower, 420 pound-feet of torque, and a body that would make Kate Upton jealous?

May I recommend the Volkswagen Golf GTI?

Not that the German hot hatch will make you forget the i8. It won’t. But the VW will remind you that you don’t have to spend $140,000 to get a thrill. At $30 grand – the average price of a new car – this fun-box will give a pricier BMW 3-series sedan fits.

Sure, the GTI doesn’t have the celebrity status of the i8, but it’s plenty sexy with its signature, 18-inch wheels. And as any tabloid star will tell you, celebrity can be exhausting. You can’t hide in an i8. Muscle cars wanted to challenge me. SUVs full of picture-snapping families sidled next to me. Street gawkers wanted to know its every detail.

Like beautiful people, beautiful cars come with paparazzi.

But they are often, like the i8, short on practical amenities like headroom, legroom, luggage room. Heck, the backseat inspiration of the i8 seemed to be my college clothes trunk. Purses have more room than the rear luggage compartment. The beauty of the GTI is that you can comfortably accommodate three friends and their baggage for a weekend Up North – and have a blast getting there on twisty Route 66.

Since the GTI washed up on our shores in 1983, it has inspired a whole segment of pocket rockets including the Ford Focus ST and Subaru WRX. GTI accounts for a whopping 50 percent of Golf sales and debuted its seventh generation this year – a spicy bratwurst I reviewed for you in June.

Not content with that firecracker, VW this fall added a performance package option — 10 more horsepower, more stopping power, more cornering power (and if that isn’t enough spice to curl your taste buds, the speed nerds at APR will sell you an engine chip upgrade worth another 100 ponies).

So I dragged my sullen, post-i8 depression into this randy rocket – and perked right up. Mrs. Payne thanks you, VW.

The GTI fits like a glove. Sure, the bolstered seats aren’t made from organic unicorn hide like the i8 — but they are leather nonetheless. The Autobahn-trim cabin comes with lux-like amenities — heated seats, leather steering wheel, voice-command audio – plus features the i8 lacks: A proper touch screen and 6 cup holders (proof that not all German makers are numb to the needs of car-dwelling Americans).

Stomp on the gas and . . . a twinge of i8 nostalgia returns. The 220 horsepower, 2.0-liter four banger hesitates before the turbo awakes. The i8′s 227 horse, 1.5-liter twin-turbo three would do the same were it not for its complimentary electric motor. Sigh, I do miss that instant, hybrid torque . . . but then the turbo cavalry arrives and the GTI explodes down the road like a bullet out of a rifle.

Approach a sharp bend and the big, fire-engine red, GTI –monogrammed brakes stick like glue. Electric steering is perfectly weighted. The short wheelbase rotates on a dime. This is front wheel drive? Where’s the push? Exit the corner. Back on the juice. Glorious.

And all this for just $34,000. Ditch the lighting package and opt for a stick (the only way to fly) and you’re under $30 grand. I could buy everyone in my family of four one for the price of an i8 – and have enough left over to buy a used ’13 for my sister for Christmas.

But aren’t steroid-fed athletes a maintenance nightmare? Actually, the quality experts at JD Power give it a Performance Award.

Except, ahem, for the water pump.

Every Golf owner knows their water pump is cursed. It’s the GTI’s Achilles Heel. My son drove his 2013 GTI to California this summer. Flattened the back seats. Got all his stuff in the hatch. The perfect cross-country car. His water pump failed on arrival in San Francisco (at least it has the courtesy of not failing in the middle of Death Valley).

So save for a water pump. And $1500 for the performance package. Or you can save another $10 grand for the next GTI upgrade: The Golf R400. Which VW will tease at the Los Angeles Auto Show next week. Which has all-wheel-drive. And (ahem) 394 horsepower. And a 3.9 second zero-60 time. That’s right. A 2.0-liter turbo V-dub with the same acceleration as a 6.2-liter Corvette C7.

Do I miss the BMW i8? The what?

2015 VW GTI

Vehicle type: Front-engine, front-wheel-drive, five-passenger compact hatchback

Price: $25,215 base ($34,005 Autobahn edition as tested)

Power plant: 2.0-liter turbocharged 4-cylinder

Power: 220 horsepower, 258 pound-feet torque

Transmission: 6-speed automatic

Performance: Zero-60: 5.6 seconds (Motor Trend); 153 mph

Weight: 3,105 pounds

Fuel economy: EPA 25 city/33 highway/28 combined

Report card

Highs: No torque steer under hard acceleration; Will terrorize 3-series

Lows: Options push price into mid-30k; Hit/miss voice commands

Overall: ★★★★

Cartoon: Green Leap Obama

Posted by hpayne on November 14, 2014


Cartoon: Gruber Obamacare Sale

Posted by hpayne on November 14, 2014


GMC Canyon/Chevy Colorado: Urban cowboys

Posted by hpayne on November 13, 2014

The 2015 GMC Canyon is an all-new midsize truck that

I love my full-sized pickup. But, boy, have they gotten big. Godzilla big. Swing-my-tail-and-I-might-take-out-a-block-of-condos big. Thus the GMC Canyon and Chevy Colorado.

I love my big, full-size pickup. Wide as the Mississippi and three states long, it can tow my race trailer, pull stumps up by their roots, and empty a Home Depot of mulch.

But in town it can be a misfit toy.

Like Ndamukong Suh in a china shop, the big beast always seem one step from trouble. A sudden swerve? Dang, I just squashed a Toyota Corolla. A drive-through lunch? Oops, I took out the menu board. Parallel parking? Fuhgettaboutit.

Today’s full-size pickups are modern marvels: Comfortable, quiet, as capable as a Swiss Army knife, as durable as Bill Cosby. But, boy, have they gotten big. Godzilla big. Swing-my-tail-and-I-might-take-out-a-block-of-condos big.

Thus the Chevy Colorado and GMC Canyon. For the urban cowboy that wants the capabilities of a Chevy Silverado in a Chevy Equinox-sized package, General Motors offers a pair of midsized trucks. Smaller, cheaper, more maneuverable, but with all the sedan-like, 21st century interior amenities that truck customers have come to expect.

You’re scratching your head. But didn’t GM abandon the midsize market just three years ago as sales stagnated? Haven’t consumers made the choice for full-size trucks?

Let me explain. What changed is those limo-riding geniuses in Washington decided to make vehicles better. Buckle up, kids. When the auto industry gets detoured through the Beltway swamp even three-ton 4x4s can get stuck in the regulatory mud.

On Mondays and Wednesdays, our pols are busy shutting down domestic oil production. But on Tuesdays and Thursdays (Fridays they drill for campaign contributions) they are making America less dependent on foreign oil. So in 2009 they mandated that, by 2025, auto fuel economy must increase by, ahem … 99 percent.

That includes trucks.

Ford answered the call by light-weighting its pickup fleet with aluminum — at about the cost of the annual GDP of Portugal. Less weight = better fuel economy. But for bankrupt GM a multi-billion bet on aluminum was not an option. Plan B: Hang on, Mary, we’re doin’ a U-turn back to the smaller, midsize truck market. Smaller trucks = better fuel economy.

The result is a fascinating war of strategies between the world’s two biggest truck armies. Aluminum F-150s vs. the twin steel tanks of GM full-size and midsize pickups. It’s offense vs. defense. Broncos vs. Seahawks. Superman vs. Batman. It should be good.

In fielding its light infantry, GM didn’t just remake the tinny, midsize trucks of the last war. The Canyon and Colorado pickups are weapons remade from the ground up.

When life throws you lemons, make lemonade.

Consumer trends may aid GM’s choice as well. A funny thing happened to the compact SUV market in the short time GM has been away from compact trucks: It grew. Boy, did it grow. Compact SUV sales jumped 21 percent in 2013 and have continued as the fastest growing sales segment in 2014. Jack’s beanstalk didn’t grow this fast.

Some ex-Canyon/Colorado customers turned to bigger pickups, but most, says GM, went into small utes like the Equinox and GMC Terrain. Midsize pickup sales have stalled at 250,000 units a year without Detroit trucks. The Toyota Tacoma, the segment leader, hasn’t been updated since 2004. It’s as if the local deli hadn’t updated its menu in eight years. The patrons have turned surly. Surveys finds them the No. 2 most disgruntled customers in the industry. They fled to the SUV buffet across the street.

But what if someone made a compact ute with a box in back?

Not just a box, but seats with the same room as your ute? Quiet interiors insulated with triple-sealed doors? Center consoles engorged with nav screens, Internet radio, and 4G Internet hot spots?

All that and the Colorado brings an Impala-like, more aerodynamic front cab design that might appeal to cross-shopping crossover buyers. But I particularly like the Canyon. The GMC is more old school pickup with its iconic, Sierra-like, bold grill. But for a couple grand more than the Colorado, it comes with stitched, soft dash materials that scores a trifecta: It blows away the foreign competition; matches its bigger, full-size siblings; and mimics the scores of attractive, compact utes that advertise in the Canyon’s $25,000-$40,000 neighborhood.

I took a Canyon Super Crew around the neighborhood to my truck buddies. My own, handpicked urban cowboy focus group. They ate it up. Its easy, step-up rear corners. Its strong tailgate. Its roomy interior. Sure, the Canyon — built on the Sierra pickup rail platform and leaf springs — rides like a bronco compared to the car-like unibody of a GMC Terrain. But at nearly the same price as the Terrain, it’s more rugged while offering the same interior comforts.

Sold, right?

But here’s where the Ford aluminum strategy gets interesting. My urban cowboys loved their first date — but before they got hitched to Canyon, they all wanted to know how its price and fuel mileage compared to a full-size pickup.

I know, I know. Truck guys are brand loyal. A Red Sox fan will never root for the Yankees. And a GM pickup owner will never buy a Ford. But with the new F150, Ford has redefined full-size pickups.

At 4,800 pounds — 780 pounds less than its previous generation — Ford contends that its 2.7-liter, 325 horsepower, 375 pound-feet of torque, V6 Ecoboost, aluminum F150 may rival Ram diesel’s class-leading, combined 23 mpg when EPA figures are announced later this year. Heck, Ford’s non-turbo, 3.5-liter V6 will probably better 20 mpg in its new aluminum shell.

By comparison, a 4,500-pound, 3.6-liter, 305 horsepower, 269 pound-feet of torque, steel Canyon boasts 20 mpg combined EPA mileage rating (17 city/24 highway). That’s better than the mid-size competition, but not F150.

Bigger is better fuel economy? Take a bow, Ford.

But where Colorado-Canyon may not save at the gas pump, it’ll save you at purchase. You’ll need that bigger F150 truck bed to carry the $8,000 more in dollar bills to buy it. The 2.7L Ecoboost Ford V6 comes in at $46, 615. The Canyon? Just $38,915.

Is a full-size pickup worth eight grand more? Is the Canyon worth four grand more than the aging, V6 Tacoma? Your needs will tell the tale. I need a big pickup that will tow a trailer of race cars while seating five overfed adults. If your needs are more modest — say a family trip with a 5,000-pound bass boat — then the Canyon might be enough.

That and you can park the GMC in a downtown Detroit parking garage without a tugboat.

Next week’s Drive review: 2014 BMW i8 vs. 1979 BMW M1

Henry Payne is auto critic for The Detroit News. Find him at hpayne@detroitnews.com or Twitter @HenryEPayne.

2015 GMC Canyon/Chevy Colorado

Vehicle type: Front-engine, rear or four-wheel-drive, five-passenger pickup

Price: $22,805 base ($38,915 Canyon Crew long box as tested)

Power plant: 2.5-liter dual-overhead-cam inline 4-cylinder; 3.6-liter, dual-overhead-cam V6

Power: 200 horsepower, 191 pound-feet torque (4-cyl); 305 horsepower, 269 pound-feet torque (V6)

Transmission: 6-speed automatic

Performance: Payload: 1,470 pounds; Trailering: 7,000 pounds (AWD 6’2″ box as tested)

Weight: 4,500 pounds

Fuel economy: EPA 19 city/25 highway/21 combined (4-cyl); EPA 17 city/24 highway/20 combined (V6)

Report card

Highs: Ute with a box; Quiet interior

Lows: Good ol’ rough truck ride; Can get pricey

Overall: ★★★


Cartoon: Interstellar Math Quiz

Posted by hpayne on November 13, 2014


Cartoon: Veterans Day

Posted by hpayne on November 10, 2014


Payne: Q&Auto – IndyCar champ Will Power

Posted by hpayne on November 8, 2014

IndyCar champ Will Power

This was Will Power’s year as he won his first IndyCar championship. I sat down with the boyish-looking 33-year old to talk Detroit, oval tracks, and racing movies.

Will Power won the inaugural Quicken Loans Office Grand Prix last week … on a tricycle.

It’s been that kind of year for the talented, Australian-born racer. He won three Verizon IndyCar races in 2014 on his way to his first series championship after three years a runner-up.

In Detroit to kick off ticket sales for the 2015 Chevrolet Detroit Belle Isle Grand Prix, Power and Penske teammate Helio Castroneves did some trike racing on Quicken Loans main call center floor (Quicken sponsors the Saturday and Sunday IndyCar races. Other heats feature sports cars and trucks) in the Chase Bank building downtown. The media ate it up. So did Quicken employees who got to rub shoulders with both winners of the 2014 Dual in Detroit.

The veteran car jockeys are friends, fierce competitors — and very different men. Three-time Indy 500 champ Castroneves is a racing rock star. Nicknamed “Spiderman” for his trademark fence-climb when he wins, the electric Brazilian is a TV celebrity with two appearances on “Dancing with the Stars” to his credit. The soft-spoken, boyish-looking Power doesn’t have a nickname (Will Power is pun enough) or TV show — though he was in the 2013 animated snail-racer movie, “Turbo.”

“I played a journalist and had one line: ‘It’s a freak of nature,’ ” he laughs in recalling his big screen debut.

One of the world’s elite drivers, Power too is a freak of nature. I sat down with him at Quicken’s HQ to talk Detroit, oval tracks, and racing movies.

Q: After three years runner up, how big was it to win this year?

Power: It was huge for me … after having been so close three times before. It was my most solid year as far as being good at every discipline where in the past I was super-dominant on street courses — not so much on oval. This year it was very even. Oval was almost my strength this year.

Q: You were in “Turbo.” What’s your favorite racing movie?

Power: ”Days of Thunder” is a cool movie. “Rush” is very accurate. The “Senna” documentary is probably the best I’ve seen — very real.

Q: Do you still live in Australia?

Power: I live in Charlotte, North Carolina where the Penske team is based. I lived in Indianapolis before that. I have a wife but no kids — we might work on that next year. The team is based (in Carolina) because they also have a NASCAR team and everything is under the same roof.

Q: We just had the U.S. Grand Prix in Austin. Have you raced in Formula One?

Power: I tested a Minardi car back in 2004.

Q: How do you compare F1 and IndyCar?

Power: IndyCar is very spec. Everyone has the same stuff so it really comes down to the driving team and the engineers to get the most out of that. Which has made for this unbelievably competitive environment that we race in. There are 22 cars and 22 guys that can win every week. Formula One is more about the equipment. It’s difficult to get a gauge on drivers because everyone’s equipment is different.

Q: Do you still have F1 aspirations or do you prefer IndyCar?

Power: I enjoy racing IndyCar. It would be difficult to get into F1 at my age (Ed. Note: Power is 33). They’re looking for young guys who are going to spend some time there.

Q: How do you like the Detroit course?

Power: It’s a very good track. What makes a good race track is being able to pass. There’s nothing worse than watching a procession. It’s a fun track to drive — pretty technical. It’s spectator friendly as well.

Q: Detroit will be the only dual race on this year’s schedule. How do you like the duals?

Power: I love (them). I think they are a great idea. We go there to race. Why waste two days practicing and qualifying when you can race for two days? We practice on Friday and should be racing on Saturday and Sunday. The streets are closed down for us, so we should take absolute advantage of that.

Q: Is Detroit particularly tough?

Power: It depends on the temperature and the day. But it’s pretty tough to drive these cars now.

Q: What’s your daily driver?

Power: A Chevy Tahoe. The new one’s really nice.

Q: What’s your dream car?

Power: I’d probably like one of the Porsches. I’m not sure which one. I’m not a big car guy. I’m a race car guy, but I’m not into buying expensive cars.

Cartoon: Immigration Tamale

Posted by hpayne on November 8, 2014


Cartoon: Obama Stampeded

Posted by hpayne on November 8, 2014


Cartoon: Democrat Governors

Posted by hpayne on November 6, 2014


Payne: Dodge Charger’s got room with vroom

Posted by hpayne on November 6, 2014

For 2015 Dodge and SRT take America’s only four-door

In the Age of the SUV, the Charger redefines sedan performance. This is a roomy sedan that’ll hunt down Pruises for breakfast.

The 707-horsepower, 2015 Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat goes 0-60 in 3.7 seconds, hits a top speed of 204 mph, and reaches a quarter mile in 11 seconds flat.

You know, a family car.

I wink. I smile. But in the Age of the Sport Ute, Dodge’s large sedan is pure genius. It may be the 21st century but we Americans still prefer riding high in SUVs like the horse-drawn carriages of the 19th. To compete with these domesticated elephants, Dodge offers the Hellcat and its Charger siblings. Performance sedans for those who want vroom with room.

The full-size sedan segment is fat with stylish four-doors like the Toyota Avalon, Ford Taurus, and Chevy Impala. But these sedans are an endangered species thanks to stylish, roomy, sport utes produced by their own brandmates. Take the Impala, a stunning divan on wheels which ultimately must compete with a handsome Chevy Traverse SUV that is roomier with better visibility.

Chrysler fields the most iconic SUV of them all, the Jeep. But you’ll never mistake a Charger for a Jeep.

Carpool to school and it’ll hunt down Priuses for breakfast. Even the growling, base V6 is politically incorrect. Look in the mirror and its specter is chilling. Where the previous gen Charger bullied with its gaping, truck-like mouth, the new Charger adopts racier family features first seen on the Dodge Dart. Dart, meet harpoon. A narrow, blacked-out grille makes a brooding mono-brow across the Charger’s wide face. Like the pupils of a black panther, the darkened, swept headlights glow with white LEDs. The kids’ll scream for it.

Behind this fearsome maw is a jaw-full of sharp teeth. Unlike segment competitors that introduce themselves with 4-cylinders, the $27,995, starter SE announces itself with a V6 – the same 292-horsepower mill that premium Chrysler 200s use to terrorize the mid-size sedan class. For just $12k more you’re at the reigns of the R/T Hemi V8′s 485 horses.

Key to this inspiration is Dodge’s barrel-chested, drag-racing CEO Tim Kuniskis who spits out facts about the Charger lineup like a Gatling gun. Dodge commercials celebrate the Charger as the natural evolution of a company founded by the speeding, brawling, bare-knuckled Dodge brothers. I bet Kuniskis could whip ‘em both.

He’s certainly punishing the competition. Charger sales have increased 63 percent in five years, increasing market share by over three percent. “We don’t want to compete on a spread sheet,” says Kuniskis, who, at 45, is the average age of the Charger’s much-young-than-segment buyer.

“I want people to day: ‘Damn, that’s a nice car.’”

To drive home the Charger’s performance statement, Kuniskis has bred the ferocious, Charger Hellcat. Just as he did the two-door Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat when the iconic two-door muscle car debuted this summer. Two Hellcats? Do we have to choose?

Steady yourselves, muscle-car veterans. I’d choose the Charger.

When my speed-starved son sprung for his first car this year he bought a four-door, 200 horsepower, VW GTI hot hatch. Without any sacrifice in performance he can comfortably escort a double date to dinner. The same principle applies with the four-door Hellcat. Indeed, thanks to a slipperier drag coefficient, the Charger actually puts up gaudier numbers than its Challenger stable-mate: It’s 0.2 ticks quicker down the quarter mile, and eclipses the 200-mph mark while the coupe manages “just” 199 mph.

All that while comfortably fitting 6’5″ ball-players like me in its cavernous, ute-like backseats. Besides, what would the kids rather see you pick them up at school in? A vintage Challenger trying to relive the ’60s, or a rockin’ Charger bod that looks like it jumped out of a Sega Ultimate Street Racing game?

When I tested the Challenger Hellcat at Portland Raceway this June, I thrilled at its raw, asphalt-chewing power.

But at my test of the Charger Hellcat on a rain-soaked drive from Washington, DC to West Virginia, I was treated to a demonstration of the car’s life-saving electronic systems. Purchasers of mega-horsepower muscle cars beware – these beasts are nitroglycerine on four wheels. Explosive. Unstable if not treated with respect.

As a life-long racer, I’ve developed instincts with high-torque, high-power-to-weight ratio cars. But my drive partner in the 700-plus horsepower Hellcat, a longtime friend and colleague, had not.

Entering an empty four lane on our way to Summit Point Raceway in the wet, he stomped on the throttle and the Hellcat bit back. Suddenly, we were swerving across two lanes like Ahab clinging to Moby Dick. With each wag of the 4,575-pound Charger’s tail, the big fish porpoised further out of the driver’s control. I braced myself. This was going to be a real tank slapper. Like a wayward bowling ball at Star Lanes, we were doomed for the gutters.

And then, like the hand of God, the electronic control system saved us.

Cutting throttle, applying brakes, shaving the car’s pitch and yaw, the Charger’s computer brain took over and brought the beast back from beyond. Riding in the backseat, SRT chief engineer Russ Ruedisueli was quiet – no doubt admiring his engineers’ handiwork (and saying a prayer of thanks).

Stability control. Don’t leave home without it.

The non-incident highlights the Charger’s biggest shortcoming, its girth. At a time when the new 3,800-pound 2015 Mustang has pushed the muscle car envelope with a sophisticated suspension, the powerful Charger and Challenger can feel like Bambi on new legs. Dodge benchmarked the $63,995 Hellcat to a BMW M5. It can whip the porky Bimmer in a straight-line, but it can’t match its road feel.

With a strict diet and upgraded corners, the head-turning Charger could win every argument in the muscle car class.

Its technical specs are jaw-dropping – from a standard eight-speed transmission to available autonomous, collision avoidance. Its lush interior is unsurpassed in the segment with a stylish, aluminum-bezeled console bordering the superb, family-friendly UConnect infotainment system. At remote Summit Point on deadline, my laptop failed me. The UConnect’s WiFi hotspot was my only lifeline to the outside world.

When my son looks to upsize from his four-door GTI, the Charger will look like steak compared to SUV gristle. But what if he had a Dodge competitor to his compact V-Dub? What if Dodge translated Charger’s youthful performance cred to a four-door hot hatch for first generation buyers? Utilitarian. Fast. With a hemi under the hood.

Whaddaya think, Kuniskis?

2015 Dodge Charger

Vehicle type: Front-engine, rear or all-wheel-drive, five-passenger sedan

Price: $28,990 base ($64,990 Hellcat as tested)

Power plant: 3.6-liter V6; 5.7-liter Hemi V8: 6.4-Liter Hemi V8; 6.2-Liter, supercharged Hemi V8

Power: 292 or 300horsepower, 280 pound-feet of torque (V6); 370 horsepower, 395 pound-feet of torque (5.7L V8); 485 horsepower, 475 pound-feet of torque (6.4L V8); 707 horsepower, 650 pound-feet of torque (6.2L superchargedV8)

Transmission: Eight-speed automatic

Performance: 0-60 mph: 3.7 seconds (manufacturer); Top speed: 204 mph

Weight: 4,575 pounds

Fuel economy: EPA 19 city/31 highway/23 combined (3.6L V6); 18 city/27 highway/21 combined (AWD 3.6L V6); 16 city/25 highway/19 combined (5.7L V8); 15 city/25 highway/18 combined (6.4L V8); 13 city/22 highway/16 combined (6.2L V8)

Report card

Highs: Inspired styling; Dude, 707 kicking horses

Lows: Porky; Know your own power

Overall: ★★★★


Cartoon: Election Obama Pen

Posted by hpayne on November 5, 2014


Cartoon: Election Shower After

Posted by hpayne on November 4, 2014